Innuendo
by beeftony
Summary: Kim tries to give Shego a taste of her own medicine.


"You seem a little distracted."

"Huh? Oh, I..." Kim shut her mouth to gather her thoughts so that she might come up with an appropriately witty response. Heroes didn't stutter.

To try and remember the exact sequence of events that led her to this point would have been a banal exercise. She could meditate on the broader ramifications of Drakken's latest doomsday device (she recalled something about using a sonic pulse to eliminate all the crickets in the world so he could finally get some sleep), but the truth was that this sort of thing had become so routine to the teenage heroine that she never really bothered thinking of missions as more deserving of her attention than any other mind-numbing chore.

No, there were far more interesting things on which to focus. Such as the long, rending wound that had been torn into the skintight fabric that seemed to cling to her adversary's skin tighter than the reincarnation of a teenage boy, directly over one of the curves it so loved to hug and shape. Apparently the villainess cared more about panty lines than what might happen if the suit were shredded even more terribly.

Kim placed a finger to her chin, sifting through a veritable sea of teasing, suggestive, and in some cases downright obscene observations regarding the sight in front of her, before finally settling on obscure music quotes for five-hundred.

"Hey Shego, you gonna take me home tonight?"

Shego stood up quickly from her compromised position, her features twisted in equal confusion and curiosity. "Eh?"

"You know, down beside that red fire light?" The other woman blinked, and Kim sighed in mock exasperation. "Don't you ever listen to Queen?"

An eyebrow rose, and Shego crossed her arms. "Of course. I just can't believe _you_ of all people would use such a dumb line."

"Yeah," admitted Kim, still nonchalant. "Those are really more Ron's thing. He's the one who turned me on to it."

"But he doesn't turn you _on_, does he?"

Now it was Kim's turn to stand there, blinking stupidly. "Huh?"

"Hey, you were the one complimenting my ass just now."

"C-complimenting?" she stammered, feeling as though her face was being held before a smoldering oven. "I was just teasing!"

Shego smirked. "_Suuuure_ you were, Pumpkin. Whatever you say."

"No, really! It was to throw you off your game!"

"Uh-huh. Riiiiight."

Kim crossed her arms and scowled. "I was just trying to do the same thing you always do to me," she grumbled.

The eyebrow rose again. "Which is?"

"Oh, don't pretend like your little comments aren't just _filled_ with innuendo," she retorted. "Sometimes I can't even tell if you're _fighting_ me or trying to get me into bed."

Shego laughed, then stroked her chin much like Kim had been doing earlier. "Trying to turn the tables, huh?"

She dropped her arms, essentially baring herself before her opponent. Her countenance softened as well. "Pretty much."

"Well I have to give you props for trying, even if you _did _forget to consider one thing."

"Which _is_?"

Shego grinned like the big, bad predator she was. "What if I'm _not_ just trying to distract you?"

Her eyes expanded steadily, like puddles in a rainstorm. "You _can't _be serious."

"What if I am?"

"But you're not," insisted Kim, backing away. Shego just started moving closer. She continued shuffling backward until the wall prevented her from continuing. "You can't be."

"Why not?"

"Because..." Shego was advancing quickly, and before Kim could roll to the side, her arms were pinned to the wall and there was a spandex-covered knee pressing against her midriff.

"Because why?"

"I..." Words abandoned her, and Kim focused on trying to ignore the proximity of their bodies. This wasn't what it looked like. Shego wasn't coming on to her; she was just doing what she always did. She was only teasing her, only trying to throw her off her game.

Wasn't she?

Shego's knee lowered, but Kim didn't move. She actually started to... relax? This woman had the means-not to mention the inclination-to literally _burn her arms off_, and yet she wasn't doing anything to escape. Of course, Shego wasn't exactly lighting her hands either.

"Shego?"

"Mmyeah?"

"Why are you just standing there?"

"Why aren't you trying to escape?"

"Do you _want _me to?"

"Well, it _would_ make my job of stopping you from interfering with Drakken's plans that much harder, but fighting you is something I look forward to all week."

Kim snorted. "Why, because you have some big lesbian crush on me?"

"Oh, so you've thought about it."

"Not until you brought it up, no."

"You're the one who said I had a nice ass."

"I didn't say it was _nice_!" Kim practically shrieked, trying vainly to extricate her arms. They wouldn't budge. "I was just trying to throw you off!"

"Did it work?"

She glowered. "What do _you_ think?"

"I'd say things worked out pretty well in _my_ favor, yes. Yours, not so much."

Kim grumbled.

"Look, Pumpkin, I get it. You're a teenager. You do what most people would consider a man's work. You hang out with a dorky blond kid and his naked gerbil. I don't think I've ever even seen you in a dress. It's not that surprising for you to be sexually confused."

"I... _what_?" She thrashed, trying to escape. Shego's grip didn't falter. What, was she super strong in addition to the fists of flame? Not fair.

"You're curious," Shego continued, still smirking. "And, being an adventurer, you obviously want to see what's on the other side of the looking glass. You're totally into me."

"I am _not_!" Kim shouted with conviction. She wasn't. She really, really wasn't.

"Sure, whatever helps you sleep at night. There's nothing wrong with being curious. I'll admit, I've been 'curious' many times myself." She winked.

This wasn't what it looked like. This was all just a game. Shego was just trying to distract her, like she always did.

'_So then why am I letting her?_' she wondered. Even though she didn't really have an answer, she reckoned that she was about to find out.

"But you know what they say, curiosity kills. It's better just to... know."

As if to punctuate her statement, Shego closed her eyes. Then she leaned in.

This wasn't happening. She wasn't really here. This was all just a dream. A very, very, bad dream.

Or was it?

Almost unconsciously, Kim leaned forward as well. She hardly realized that she had done it until hours later, when she recounted the events to herself.

It didn't matter anyway, because the moment she tilted her head to the side, Shego let go, and she tumbled to the floor, kissing the dirt instead.

What the _hell_?

Confused, indignant, and desperate for an answer, Kim rolled over so that she was looking up at her wily rival, who appeared to have tricked her once again.

And she was _laughing_ about it.

"Did you actually think I was _serious_?" Shego howled, clutching her belly as she bent over. "You're just too easy to mess with, Princess."

So it _had _been a ruse, then. Kim stood up. Clenching her fists, she bellowed out the only word on her mind:

"SHEGO!"


End file.
